Confessions of a Disney Cruise Line Addict

?Photo Illo by Sarah Olin | Source images Courtesy Disney Cruise Line

Never fails: tell a gay person that you're going on a cruise and their eyes light up. "Atlantis? RSVP? Windstar?" Nope, Disney. "Ohhh..." they say warily.

Why is that? Plenty of gay people frequent the Disney parks -- with or without kids in tow -- so why is cruising with Walt such a leap? It shouldn't be. You won't find, say, a toga party on a Disney cruise, but you will find a great deal of other fantastic diversions that consistently surpass expectations. Obviously, if you hate Disney or children, this isn't the boat for you. For everyone else, though, it's pretty fantastic. Full disclosure: My name is Eddie Shapiro, and I am a Disney Cruise Line addict. Truly nuts. But even though I have a problem (well documented in my very own A Million Little Pieces), I'm still objective. An alcoholic can judge the quality of a martini, can't he?

Earlier this month, with the help of Neil Patrick Harris, fairy godmother Mariah Carey christened the fourth ship in the Disney fleet, Disney Fantasy, which departed on her maiden voyage last week. Attending the party, I was giddy with irrational glee (well, champagne, too, but I digress) because while all four Disney ships are truly spectacular, Disney Fantasy is the crown jewel.

That first cruise wasn't such an easy sell. It took some prodding to get me aboard. I was skeptical. The very thought of being trapped on board with scads of children scared the bejesus out of me. Yet what I found was a plethora of adult-only areas -- two restaurants, pool, gym, coffee bar, spa, sun deck, and nightlife district -- where I could escape the little muffins if I chose to. They were more than busy with their own lavish activities anyway. And I experienced the "Disney Difference" from the moment I stepped onboard. Yes, that meant a lot of Mickey Mouse, but it also meant Disney's unparalleled service and attention to detail. Only Disney has ships designed by Imagineers, the same people who create their parks, with both glamor and whimsy. And Disney crew members are trained not only to be super friendly (we're talking Stepford friendly) but to be inclusive. A round of drinks to whoever can name another "family oriented" environment that is so gay friendly?

Only on a Disney ship will you find fireworks at sea, restaurant servers-cum-stalkers who travel your dining rotation with you, so that they know you and your preferences, and split bathrooms in the staterooms so two can primp at once. Disney Fantasy (like its sister ship, Disney Dream) ups the ante with new innovations like a water coaster, "Enchanted Art" that comes to life as you walk by it, and virtual portholes in interior staterooms (complete with occasional swim-bys from the likes of Nemo and Ariel).