Alchemist ShopAlchemist.com High fashion in an avant-garde car park
Margiela, Alexander Wang, Rick Owens...I don't really think I need to say more. But, if you're jonesing for your long-haired-boy-dressed-all-in black -- jackpot baby. It's sort of in a garage, with a Matrix feel, designed by Herzog & De Meuron (they of the Birds Nest in Beijing), but I recommend stopping by to see the space yourself. Wait, did I mention Rick Owens? Word. 305-531-4815; Carpark Level 5, 111 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach
Base BaseWorld.com Fashion and design porn for discerning gays
So, I am not inventing the wheel here with this pick, but umm, have you seen the boys? There's usually a strain of the less cheesy Miami gays (who doesn't like a little Rag & Bone by the bed the morning after?), and the wares on tap are basically design porn. Spend a day peeping everything from oversized coffee table books to Japanese robots to a bajillion CDs (with a handy listening station). Maybe you'll also end up with a date to Score to go with that shopping bag. 305-531-4982; 939 Lincoln Road, Miami Beach
C. Madeleine's CMadeleines.com Curated vintage wares for the Chanel boys
The vintage here is more accommodating to the fairer sex, but there's still enough of a selection at this humongo boutique to make this dude pretty jazzed. While it's nice to look at the Chanel, Celine, and Cassini, there's a sick rack of shades that I can buy for myself and get that nice, 'Where the hell did you find that?' question. Feels good... 305-945-7770; 13702 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami Beach
Flamingo Plaza A vintage treasure trove for patient fashionistas
It's no Decades (in fact, it's a strip mall), but Flamingo Plaza has a cluster-fuck of thrift stores that do offer up some treasures, if you have the patience to put your back into it. Remember, Miami is the home of Versace, so expect many an ode to '80s excess, which is sweet if you're searching for something a little decadent. Way less picked over than anything in NYC or L.A. I found a Comme de Garcon's shirt here once for $5. For reals. 901 E 10th Ave, Hialeah
Kiliwatch Design District hipness by way of Paris
Nothing quite hits my sweet spot (travel-wise, that is) like a shopping jaunt around Paris' rue ?tienne-Marcel, where the street scene's all about muscley-boys (more Butt magazine than 12th Street Beach) competing for our attention with Gauloise smoking bobos at the Costes brothers' cool corner spot. Nowhere is the convergence better than at Kiliwatch, that has some really good second-hand goods, Cheap Mondays, and maybe a Kate Moss spotting. Less touristy than its City of Light's sister has become (though a tad cheesier), the store's Miami location is the next best thing to an Air France ticket: trippy art, T-shirts with Biggie Smalls, French labels, and braided bracelets. It's not for everyone, but I do stop by to see what goods just dropped. Or just scope a French accent, preferably on a April 77-wearing dude with an unreleased Phoenix track on his iPod. Design District, 3818 NE 2nd Ave.
Laurenzo's LaurenzosMarket.com An epicure orgasm in North Miami
OK. So you're not going to lose any pounds shopping at this good eats joint, but some things do taste better than being skinny. This Italian farmer's market is a welcome addition when Jamba Juice just ain't cutting it. Nice priced fresh produce, hard-to-find herbs and spices, and, oh, tons of chefs-in-the-making. Dinner for two, please. 305-945-6381; 16385 W.Dixie Hwy., North Miami Beach
Marni Marni.com Wooly fashions in the Design District
I kinda love the fact that there's a Marni in Miami (despite the obvious alliteration) -- seriously, who knew rad wooly sweaters could find a home in Florida? The space-age space shop in the Design District doesn't carry too many men's duds, but I don't care, because they have a pretty sick selection of those spring sunnies for dudes. And, honestly, I won't judge you if you buy that woman's pastel cardi in an extra-large. 305-576-9385; Design District, 3930 NE 2nd. St.
Sweat Records SweatRecordsMiami.com Indie tunes for Indie boys, music and lifestyle hub
I know you come to MIA to get sweaty. I sure do. If you like your one-night stands dirty, with a penchant for hand-rolled cigarettes and hemp clothes, this music store is your beat. Indie with a capital I, vinyl is the word of the day, but the shelves also stock weird DVDs, magazines, books, and quirky toys. Pull up a stool at the coffee bar (vegan snacks, but of course) for some people watching -- you might just spot Iggy Pop or Jim Jarmusch. Closed Mondays. 786-693-9309; Mainland Miami, 5505 NE 2nd Ave.
The Webster TheWebsterMiami.com SoBe Boutique to end all boutiques
The Colette of America, hands down. The fact that NYC doesn?t even have a spot like is beyond me, but I fucking love it here. Why? Well, they carry hard-to-find guys brands like Robinson les Bains (trust, everyone will be looking at your ass in those babies), Barnab? Hardy, and Spurr, all within a three-story art deco building. Bonus points for Caviar Kaspia, the roof lounge, and rotating DJs. Yes, it ain't cheap, but sometimes looking expensive, is, well, expensive. 305-674-7899; 1220 Collins Ave., Miami Beach
adidas SLVR Adidas.com/us/slvr Sporty duds for the haute jocks
If it's good enough for David Beckham, it's most definitely good enough for me. Environmentally friendly goodies for the chicest day at the gym, like, ever, or a pickup game suited for Jesus Luz in Rio. Plus, the high-top sneaks, tech jackets, and cardigans can translate to the bar pretty quick. Makes a good excuse for 'forgetting' your workout gear. 305-573-1603; Mainland Miami, 150 NE 40th St.