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The Gayest Things About Russia

The Gayest Things About Russia

St. Petersburg's latest antigay law has got us thinking: first, about that country’s abysmal LGBT rights record, but then of all the ways in which the country is so much gayer than it realizes.

The Russian teen pop duo took the world by storm back in 2000 (yes indeed, a decade ago), with "All the Things She Said." Most of the fuss was caused by the kiss scene in the video, which had millions of pervy straight dudes and hopeful lesbians thinking respectively "they?re hot" and "they?re hot and have a message that I can believe in." Sadly, the girls? message was mixed, and they variously said they were lesbian/bi/slept with each other/etc., and it all got rather muddy.

Vladimir Ivanov
Ridiculously hot Russian-born model Vladimir Ivanov reminds us that while it may be cold in Russia, the country has no problem producing hot guys. He?s been seen stalking the runways from Milan to Paris and currently stars in ads for Lacoste, Gant, and D&G, to name a few.

Vladimir Putin
Could there be a more macho man in the whole world? Certainly not another who?s a head of state, rides a horse topless, is a judo expert, and wrestles naked with bears (well, three of those, anyway). Welcome Vladimir Putin, a man so straight he?s very gay indeed, though he would kill you with his tiny hard hands for saying so. Here he is on vacation, just a regular older guy with his moobs out.

Boney M, "Rasputin"
OK, they weren?t Russian per se, but a hit pop song about the mad monk surely deserves a place in this list, especially when you watch the video and see Bobby Farrell doing his version of a cossack dance, complete with Afro and fake beard. "Rasputin" was not released in the old Soviet Union due to the lyrics ("Ra ra Rasputin, Russia?s greatest love machine, it was a shame how he carried on") but the band enjoyed decades of perplexing popularity in the former republics there.

Night Watch
A cracking horror movie set in present-day Moscow, with an all-Russian crew and cast, Night Watch was subtitled into English and was a smash hit with a huge audience. Day Watch followed, but we love this 2004 original for its sheer malevolence. Did we mention it's about vampires? Gay!

Mikhail Baryshnikov
Forget him in SATC, the Soviet-born sex symbol and dancer extraordinaire not only made White Nights (1985) but was perhaps the most celebrated dancer in the world for a while. Here we have him wearing staggeringly tight tights in Don Quixote.

Marko Ramius
Who could sexier and gayer than the captain of the Soviet submarine? Yeah know, that whole hard, elongated tube full of seamen thing... Even if he is a fictional character in a movie (The Hunt for Red October), played by a Scot ? those small details aside, we love Sean Connery speaking Russian, and even as an older chap he looks good in a fur hat.

Boris Yeltsin
Terrifying, funny, drunk, a dancer of some repute. Boris was like your favorite old gay uncle, but with more nuclear bombs. Best part here is Bill Clinton so mortified at Boris goosing some old ladies that he feigns hysterical laughter.

Johnny Weir
He?s on ice, his costume has icicle patterns, and he does an awesome Doctor Zhivago program. That?s about as sexy and as Russian as you can get, right?

Ivan Drago
The Russian boxing champ who tries to batter little Sly Stallone to death in Rocky part 45 (or something). Dolph Lundgren never looked better than when sneering "I must break you" in this clip.

The Red Army Russian Choir
Singing "Kalinka" of course. Complete with a trio of crazy cossack-dancing rockabillies, as far as we can tell. The best bit is the campy old singer in the uniform.

Doctor Zhivago
Russia never looked so romantic as in David Lean?s 1965 epic. Mind you, Omar Sharif at his doe-eyed peak would have made any setting seem romantic, and who doesn?t adore (and in this movie slightly fear) Julie Christie? It?ll make you want to go out and get a huge fur muff.

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