The Gayest Things About Italy

Michelangelo?s David

Has any man, marble or otherwise, become as much a gay icon as David? Other than the other David (Beckham), we mean? Of course not. And tiny peen aside, he?s heavenly. Did you know, though, that Michelangelo?s (gay: see below) archrival Leonardo da Vinci said at the public meeting to decide where to site David that he needed "decent ornament," i.e., a fig leaf or undergarments? Luckily he lost.

The Pope We?re not saying Benedict XVI is a homo, of course, though the clip here of him applauding enthusiastically as a troupe of topless male acrobats perform for his pleasure, is very, very -- and we mean very -- gay. But the man?s love of ruby red slippers, and reported fashion label accoutrements? High camp at the very least.

Valentino Never mind Hadrian (and sometimes maybe Nero): the gayest of all emperors is also the last. Will there ever be greater emperor? We hope not.

Gay Army, Italy Words fail to convey the true spectacle, so you?ll need to watch and marvel.

Gladiators Oh, come on -- oiled, seminaked muscly men fighting to the death? Who but the Italians would have reimagined this as a spectator sport? Of course it took the Americans to make Spartacus, but we?re sure it?s as close to being a documentary as could ever have existed.

Mambo Italiano OK, this 2003 movie is about Italians who?ve emigrated to Canada, where they struggle (to put it mildly) with their son?s coming out, but really, they?re fresh from the motherland. And this clip?s a gem.

Emperor Hadrian One of the true great emperors, and very clearly a great queen, too. His true love was a Greek youth by the name of Antinous. When the lad drowned, a grief-stricken Hadrian had him deified and founded the city of Antinopolis in his memory.

Trieste's Alpini festival Hairy men in little felt hats with feathers, marching, and tooting trumpets. Very fey. We love. (Especially from the back of a Vespa. Vroom.)

That Gay Dancing Italian Is Rino actually gay? His website suggests so, and there?s more than the one video. This one, though, is a lesser-known YouTube gay classic.

Leonardo da Vinci We may not know much about his most famous creation -- the Mona Lisa -- but old Leo liked the boys. And he was a top-notch genius, a good thousand rungs above Silvio in the IQ tables. Sadly, some historians reckon that though gay, an early sodomy case against him so traumatized the great man that he remained celibate from then on.

 Every time nasty little Berlusconi starts his "at least I?m not gay" nonsense or yet another underage girl steps forward with allegations, we despair at the fate of a great nation under the tiny thumb of a homophobic clown. So, Silvio, in case you forget, here?s some of the reasons Italy was and is a gay triumph -- not the least of which hosting EuroPride this coming June.