April 03 2007 11:00 PM EST
CONTACTCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2026 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
The way that writer John Berendt discovered the tale that became his book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil has a wonderful moral for people thinking of taking a trip. In interviews around the time of publication, Berendt explained that in the 1980s he was going out to eat so often with friends in New York City that it occurred to him that he could spend the same amount of money on a round-trip ticket to some place he had never seen before. So one weekend Berendt went someplace he’d never been--Savannah, Ga.--and like some explorer in the Andes centuries ago, he stumbled upon an amazing treasure: the story that became his best-selling book.
The moral of this story is this: We can never really know where we should go on a trip. Choosing a trip, planning ahead, is in some profound way completely absurd. One winter I had a choice: to hike the Inca trail with an English friend, or to go to the Virgin Islands with a German pal. AIDS had just begun, and I was scared of germs. According to the guidebooks I read on Peru, shots were advised, so I took the safer choice. I loved my week in the Caribbean, but years later I went to Machu Picchu, and to this day I regret not having gone with Nick.
Who knows where he should go now? Yet we choose our destinations the way we choose our clothes. And we plan in advance.
A Harvard professor who studies happiness has even said that we cannot ever expect to be happy doing something we plan months in advance, since by the time we have to do it, we may be in a different mood or space altogether. This applies to travel. One reason the current system that demands we book at least a week in advance to get a good air fare, and tell them when we are coming back, is so repulsive is that it requires a level of rational planning that flies in the face of the whole idea of travel--its spontaneity, its impetuosity. Who knows when one will want to leave or come back? Even worse: Who knows if going on the Baltic cruise will be a bore or wonderful? Maybe you should go to Little Rock, Ark., instead.
In my 20s I lived in dread of being drafted into the Army. Then, when it happened, I was sent to Europe instead of Vietnam, and I had probably the happiest time of my life. I was free; I came out; I was in Heidelberg. I got to hitchhike on Air Force planes. All I had to do was go to Frankfurt to the air base and see where the next plane was going. Nowadays, we are locked into consumer packages that demand we know when we want to leave and when we want to come back and exactly where we want to go.
Worse, in the same way the thing I dreaded--getting drafted--turned out to be a form of liberation, the places we choose may not be the places that we need to go. It all comes back, alas, to knowing oneself--something few of us ever manage in the course of a lifetime. Toward the end of his life, the U.K. writer J.R. Ackerley (My Father and Myself) went to Japan. He loved it. The trouble was he had discovered it a bit late. We suspect there is such a country, a place, for all of us: the one we never thought of visiting. But we cannot know what it is.
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Just in Time for Pride – The 15 Gayest Cities in the World in 2023
April 12 2023 6:47 PM
The 13 Least Visited National Parks
January 07 2023 5:00 AM
Get Soaked! with These 35+ Steamy Pool Pics From This Year’s White Party
May 25 2023 9:29 AM
20 Thirsty Pics of #SniffiesRush Campaign Celebrating Frat Life
December 16 2022 3:19 PM
25 Thirsty Pool Party Pics from White Party Palm Springs 2022
April 14 2023 5:55 PM
Sniffies Reveals Horniest Cities
December 22 2022 4:15 PM
15 Thirsty Pics of Moot Lingerie for Men
March 21 2023 7:41 AM
The 7 Best Nude Beaches for Gays in the U.S.
June 09 2022 4:00 AM
The Most Dangerous (& Safest) Countries for LGBTQ+ Travel
March 22 2023 5:00 AM
Outtraveler: Featured Video
Latest Stories
LGBTQ+ travelers, it's time for the 'quiet thrill' of a Greenland cruise
October 16 2026 1:35 PM
Discover RU5H, the first sex-progressive gay cruise that made waves
October 13 2026 4:21 PM
Miss Benny's queer roots are in Dallas, but she's ready to take on the world
October 07 2026 1:00 PM
'The Rocky Horror Show' is the perfect tribute to Tim Curry's legacy
September 22 2026 5:19 PM
Lost in Dreams is a hidden gem music festival you have to see to believe
September 18 2026 3:40 PM
Why You Should Make Tempe Your Next LGBTQ+ Southwest Destination
September 16 2026 1:57 PM
Meet the sexy men who attended Collab Week Fire Island
September 10 2026 1:18 PM
Discover The Dunes Resort, the iconic LGBTQ+ destination in the Midwest
September 08 2026 2:00 PM
Marla Mindelle is steering Broadway's 'Titanique' into its biggest voyage yet
September 04 2026 2:17 PM
Love LGBTQ+ history? Find time for a San Francisco weekend
September 02 2026 11:00 AM
Discover Blue Moon Campground, an LGBTQ+ escape in the North Georgia Mountains
August 31 2026 11:00 AM
Gay Wine Weekend toasts 15 years of raising queer cheer
August 25 2026 11:00 AM
Outside Lands is a bucket-list festival for gays to break free
August 20 2026 10:30 AM
Cynthia Nixon is officiating the largest sapphic wedding of all time. Want In?
July 21 2026 10:27 AM
7 stellar NYC date ideas for queer couples
July 17 2026 8:00 AM
Time to pack for LGBTQ+ summer camp!
July 08 2026 12:00 PM











































































