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Cruises From Hell

Cruises From Hell

The recent gut-churning footage of the Clelia II bobbing without power on huge Antarctic seas got us looking through the archives for some of the rare but memorable (and often times hilarious) cruises from hell.

The Clelia II
Nothing much worse than a drastic need for sick-bags for the passengers and a red face for the operators. But look at that boat move, and tell us you don?t feel queasy in sympathy.

Even The Bridge Isn?t Safe
Keep watching this slow-burner, and the one thing you think just can?t happen in a reinforced bridge that high up, does. The ship -- the P&O Adonia -- is now the Sea Princess, apparently.

Mystery Boat
This one went viral and for every posting, there?s a different theory, from hoax, to a mighty cyclone. The truth is simpler: the Semester At Sea (or the Olympic Voyager, according to some) lost some power in heavy but unremarkable seas, and some truly horrendous pitching and yawing were captured by a Coastguard helicopter

The Shetland Ferry ? not.
Most postings of this comedy gem claim it?s a ferry from Scotland to the Shetland Islands. It?s more likely the cruise liner Australian Pacific Sun hit by a freak storm some hundreds of miles off the New Zealand Coast.

The CCTV footage is one of the funniest things all year.

The Shining, at sea
This home video and home-made captions reminded us of the movie?s mundane horror. Watch as a very very uneventful and dull home movie turns into a lonely little storm-tossed hell that would make you swear off cruises like this forever, with or without the waves. The tinny PA system announcements on the deserted deck are surreal. From 1994.

"Gays vs. Hurricane Rick"
The actual title of this is as hilarious as the footage, which is essentially two scantily dressed shrieking guys taking their lives in their hands by walking on a storm-lashed deck at night. There?s even an homage to Titanic in there. Cruises don?t get campier, or more fun, really.

Shot on the Mariner of the Seas in the midst of Tropical Storm Rick.

Carnival Splendor
There can be few things as sad as these passengers sitting around, sick, wet and with nowhere to go as water from the pool soaks them in this 2008 clip. Oh wait, there could be canned cheery music blaring in the background, too.

High winds and rough seas kept the ship from docking at Grand Turk on 11/19/08, so the day was spent as a "sea day". The ocean never seemed so miserable?

Safer on Shore
Commenters suggest this isn?t a cruise ship, but the ferry MV Sulvan in the Hobart strait, New Zealand. This is filmed from the safety and comfort of the beach, which somehow makes it seem even worse on board.

Wave Pool
This is less horrifying than just mesmerizing, as a cruise ship in the Aegean hits some choppy water and all the old folks in the pool start shrieking. Some even jump in when they see it happening.

Rogue Wave
You need the sound on this one, as the high-pitched squeals of the cameraman are sheer delight.

The Poseidon Adventure, The Christmas Tree Scene
Oh how could we NOT sign off this with one? Somehow it?s actually less silly and scary than some of the ones that came before.

  
30 Years of Out100Out / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

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