Brent Ray Fraser Shows France That the Penis Is Mightier Than the Paintbrush

By Mark Simpson

Canadian per­form­ance artist and humpy former erotic enter­tain­ment industry model Brent Ray Fraser recently appeared on France’s Got Talent, knock­ing one out for the panel.

A por­trait, that is.

Slightly dis­ap­point­ing to dis­cover that France’s ver­sion of Simon Cowell’s tal­ent show has exactly the same format as the UK one — right down to the camp judges. Though they seem to have eco­nom­ized on Ant and Dec, opt­ing for just a single snig­ger­ing Dec Française.

It is rather impress­ive, however, that France con­siders a naked, buff man basic­ally mas­turb­at­ing with paint good fam­ily entertainment. Although Britain’s Got Talent has fea­tured singing male strip­pers, they kept their stuffed undies on. Mr Fraser’s paint-balling would bring the safety cur­tain down over here.

France how­ever seemed très amusant. And it was very touch­ing to see how excited women in the audi­ence and par­tic­u­larly the two young lads in the audi­ence got over this big piece of art.

To their credit, the French didn’t seem to mind that Fraser appears to have learned their tongue from John Wayne.

An earlier work of Fraser’s (below) got some shares on t’internet a while back. His naked hike to the top of a Canadian moun­tain to paint a Maple Leaf with his pride and joy is some­thing of an epic. It looks like a great workout for the calves. Not just up all those steps — past gawp­ing Japanese tour­ists — but all that tippy-toeing Fraser has to do to reach the can­vas on the easel.

It also looks as if this penis paint­ing lark might be a form of jelqing. Mind you, as Fraser dragged his poor paint-smeared glans back and forth across the raspy can­vas I found myself won­der­ing whether you have to be cir­cum­cised to be a naked painter. My snug uncut bell end cer­tainly isn’t used to that kind of exposure.

Either way, someone (we're looking at you Men’s Health) really needs to run a big spread on Fraser and his inspir­ing and cre­at­ive fit­ness régime.