New York City subway riders can be among the most annoying people you'll ever encounter in this life. They are only slightly ahead of petitioners with clipboards and passive-aggressive tactics asking you for a second of your time; Platinum-level flyers with expensive carry-on luggage who refuse to look you in the eye as you board economy; and those impatient colleagues who press the elevator button a mere two seconds after you because apparently that'll make it arrive faster. Ummm, you saw that the arrow was already lit up, right? Oh, you did? You saw it? Mm-kay, just checking, Felicia.
Now I would've given Sallie Mae-levels of cash to Greenpeace if it meant avoiding the couple I recently encountered on an uptown train. A muscular white guy in his 20s was standing right next to me holding onto the pole attached to the seat occupied by his girlfriend. They didn't talk to each other for a good portion of the ride. In fact, he and I did what most New York City residents do on the subway: We closed our eyes and stood there in silence as we imagined what it'd be like to experience joy again. We'd even take our dignity back if it was lying around somewhere. Which reminds me: Dear, Santa.
About halfway through the ride, the boyfriend tapped the girlfriend's shoulder and said with a sense of urgency, "Babe, get up! You have to see this." Slightly startled, she responded, "What—what is it?" Without turning, I knew exactly what he was about to show her.
See, when I first attempted to enter the train, the doorway was blocked by two young girls who thought it'd be cute to continue their conversation about nail polish instead of showing me and other agitated straphangers courtesy. After we each pushed our way in, I made sure to glance back at the now-irritated women to show them my own frustration with their riding habits. It was then that I acknowledged that both of them were either transgender or gender non-conforming, which was honestly just a quick observation on my part at the moment. But, their identities notwithstanding, they were still pretty rude and blatantly so.
But back to Dawson and Joey in this, a brand new episode of 'Up Dawson's Creek.' The young guy started pointing at the women and seemingly said with disbelief, "Look, babe--trannies! Those are fucking trannies right there, can you believe it?"
The girlfriend, tickled by her beau's discovery, immediately covered her mouth and said, "Oh my gosh, how can you tell?"
"Just look at them--they're clearly dudes," he said, just loud enough for me, his pole buddy, to hear every single transphobic word. "Especially the first one. Yeah, that's for sure a guy. Wow!"