GOP Shocker at D.C. Leather Bar

Republican leaders Ted Cruz, Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell were spotted early this morning leaving Fisticuffs, a D.C.-area leather bar after a night of depravity.

When asked how this might sway the elections, GOP spokeswoman April Phoolz replied, "This is probably the least shocking thing any of these guys did or said this week. Yet, for some reason no one can explain, people will continue to vote them into office."