Scroll To Top
G.P.S

If Your Next Airport Security Check Looks Like This ...

Alan_Bates_Oliver_Reed

.. then don't panic, and don't get too excited. Because those new intimate pat-downs that are more like rubdowns are causing quite a stir with airline passengers

The troube comes from the replacing of the old loose-patting thing with a very thorough top-to-bottom siding motion, over all bumps and protrusions and not missing out butt or inside legs. Obviously, this makes it WAY easier to detect a bomb, and so makes sense from every angle, except maybe if you've issues over inappropriate touching. And a lot of people have, it seems.

A traveler at San Diego International Airport was marched out of the premises over the weekend for refusing to walk through the full-body scanner and then refused the personal touch.

The scanners themselves are also a cause for concern: many passengers just don't believe the images are kept private, though officials say otherwise.

Just try not to make any wisecracks along the lines of "You might at least have bought me a drink first" when looking down at the flushed head of the security guy as he gives you the full "slide down" at the airport next trip.

And yes, you should go rent Women in Love, to watch the famous wrestling scene used above. And no, the security guys won't be actually naked or look like Oliver Reed, and all you should remove is your shoes and belt, to start.

 

Alan_Bates_Oliver_Reed

.. then don't panic, and don't get too excited. Because those new intimate pat-downs that are more like rubdowns are causing quite a stir with airline passengers

The troube comes from the replacing of the old loose-patting thing with a very thorough top-to-bottom siding motion, over all bumps and protrusions and not missing out butt or inside legs. Obviously, this makes it WAY easier to detect a bomb, and so makes sense from every angle, except maybe if you've issues over inappropriate touching. And a lot of people have, it seems.

A traveler at San Diego International Airport was marched out of the premises over the weekend for refusing to walk through the full-body scanner and then refused the personal touch.

The scanners themselves are also a cause for concern: many passengers just don't believe the images are kept private, though officials say otherwise.

Just try not to make any wisecracks along the lines of "You might at least have bought me a drink first" when looking down at the flushed head of the security guy as he gives you the full "slide down" at the airport next trip.

And yes, you should go rent Women in Love, to watch the famous wrestling scene used above. And no, the security guys won't be actually naked or look like Oliver Reed, and all you should remove is your shoes and belt, to start.

 



.. then don't panic, and don't get too excited. Because those new intimate pat-downs that are more like rubdowns are causing quite a stir with airline passengers

The troube comes from the replacing of the old loose-patting thing with a very thorough top-to-bottom siding motion, over all bumps and protrusions and not missing out butt or inside legs. Obviously, this makes it WAY easier to detect a bomb, and so makes sense from every angle, except maybe if you've issues over inappropriate touching. And a lot of people have, it seems.

A traveler at San Diego International Airport was marched out of the premises over the weekend for refusing to walk through the full-body scanner and then refused the personal touch.

The scanners themselves are also a cause for concern: many passengers just don't believe the images are kept private, though officials say otherwise.

Just try not to make any wisecracks along the lines of "You might at least have bought me a drink first" when looking down at the flushed head of the security guy as he gives you the full "slide down" at the airport next trip.

And yes, you should go rent Women in Love, to watch the famous wrestling scene used above. And no, the security guys won't be actually naked or look like Oliver Reed, and all you should remove is your shoes and belt, to start.

 

The Advocates with Sonia BaghdadyOut / Advocate Magazine - Jonathan Groff and Wayne Brady

From our Sponsors

Most Popular

Latest Stories

David Gray