Why the gays should LOVE Disneyland Paris
Story and Photos by Eddie Schvinga
1. “Who’s the fairest of them all?”
Unlike Disney’s other parks, this one has to compete with actual castles in close proximity (Versailles anyone?) Therefore the buildings, landscaping and planning had to be eye-popping and they are.
2. “Drink up me hearties, yo ho!”
What self-respecting gay doesn’t like a 5:00 martini? Disneyland Paris is the only Magic Kingdom that serves booze. As if that’s not enough, it’s also the only one at which smoking is permitted throughout the park.
3. “Step in time”
At the American Disney theme parks, motorized wheelchairs abound, carting around obese guests who have trouble walking. They don’t exist in Paris. Nor do the obese guests, which is miraculous considering French cooking.
4. ”Off with her head!”
Unlike those at the American parks, children in Disneyland Paris are remarkably well behaved. The only tantrums and hissy fits witnessed came from the queens. And speaking of kids, strollers aren’t quite as ubiquitous, either. Unlike in America, children old enough to walk do so.
5. “Be our guest”
All of the Disneyland Paris restaurants are far superior to our own fast food included. While we sell churros and burgers, they sell crepes and toasted sandwiches of crème fraiche and mushrooms.
6. “A whole new world”
In America, gays walking hand in hand can attract stares and sneers. At Disneyland Paris, no one cares.
7. “I’m the only one!”
Disneyland Paris has a few fabulous attractions that can’t be found anywhere else. The best is the Finding Nemo inspired Crush's Coaster, which chases Crush and his turtle pals through the racing East Australian Current. Cars, shaped like turtle shells, spin on their tracks, so guests find themselves swirling unpredictably throughout the darkened ride. It’s like a circuit party without the morning after.
